Kids will likely model how their parents react to a tragedy.
Whether it’s violence that takes innocent lives or a natural disaster that causes great loss, kids and teens can be upset by what they see on social media and the news. Tragedies are hard for parents, too – processing their own feelings while worrying about their kids’ reactions. Here are tips to help parents reduce their kids’ anxiety and make them feel safe.
Set the tone
Dr. Michael Redovian, child and adolescent psychiatrist, says kids will likely model how their parents react to a mass shooting or other scary event. “Remind your child that these are not common occurrences – and it’s OK to continue going to places like school, the store or a movie theater,” he said. “You will do all you can to protect them, as will their teachers at school and first responders who serve our communities.
“We can also learn from Mr. Rogers, whose mom told him to ‘look for the helpers’ when the news is scary. Share stories with your kids about kind, caring people who helped in a time of need.”
Empower your child
“Have some go-to things your kids can do in the moment to alleviate stress or anxiety reactions,” Eva Szigethy, MD, PhD, chair of pediatric psychiatry and psychology, recommended. “Grounding techniques are used to help kids feel more present and connected to their surroundings, reducing anxiety and distress.”
Physical grounding can include taking slow, deep breaths and focusing on the movement of your chest. Sensory grounding includes the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method: Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.
Taking deep breaths and focusing on movement of your chest can help to reduce anxiety.
“Whether it’s a reaction to something on the news or being in a situation where a bad thing is happening,” Dr. Szigethy said, “empower your kids to know there are things in their control to do.”
Spend time talking with your child
When a tragic event occurs, ask open-ended questions about what your child has learned. This provides you with an opportunity to learn what they have been exposed to and to correct any misinformation, using age-appropriate words. Break your conversations into kid-sized chunks instead of having one, long discussion.
As kids grow up, they often become more interested in worldly events. “Teens may pick up a lot of things on social media and go down the doomscrolling rabbit hole,” Dr. Redovian said. “The algorithm will start feeding them information about more catastrophic things, so it’s important to manage their screen time and talk about what they’re seeing on social media. This could be contributing to their anxiety.
“Encourage your child to ask questions when a public tragedy happens or if they have safety concerns, such as at school. They can go to anyone they trust, whether that’s a parent, other relative or teacher.”
It’s important for parents to ask what their kids are seeing on social media.
Teach your kids how to approach the news in a healthy way
“The same way you teach your child how to act in a public setting, teach them how to approach the news,” said Chelsea Weyand, PsyD, ABPP, pediatric psychologist and the interim director of Psychology, Behavioral Health and NeuroBehavioral Health. “You don’t want to expose them to things beyond their age and mental development – and be mindful of any trauma history in their lives. But you can teach them how to think critically about what they see in the news, ask questions and discuss how to solve problems.”
Have balanced beliefs about safety
It’s OK to make a safety plan and talk about emergency situations with your kids. Just be mindful of how much is too much. Discussing a safety plan can help some kids reduce anxiety, but overly focusing on a plan can stress other kids out.
“It’s important to have balanced beliefs about safety. Although we’re safe most of the time, it’s not good to think everything’s safe all the time,” said Ayla Mapes, PhD, child and adolescent psychologist. “Kids need to know some situations are dangerous, and we have ways to deal with those circumstances. We also have ways to reduce risk and be cautious, so kids can focus on enjoying their lives.”
For evidence-based resources, check out the National Child Traumatic Stress Network and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
If your child is struggling with anxiety or depression, talk to your pediatrician or call the Lois and John Orr Family Behavioral Health Center at 330-543-5015. If your child is in crisis, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
